Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Randomize
