Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
