Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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