I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
