he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
