Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
