I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize