I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize