Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
