Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
