And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
