Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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