I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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