This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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