I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
did i just pee glitter
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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