Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Girls should come with a carfax report
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
