My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
