But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
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