Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I wish there were birth control emojis
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize