I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
