she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
