Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
