We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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