is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
