So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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