My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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