tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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