who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
