If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
