Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
