Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
