some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
