You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize