I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize