the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
