I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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