names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
