i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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