i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
