Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
