it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
