dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
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