she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Watching her eat just hurts me
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
