How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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