so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
