It's like God shit irony all over that family
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
