i will never coherently bang her
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
