Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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