I cockslap morals
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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