So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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