so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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