I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
