I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
