Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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