I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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