Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
