We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
