why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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