I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
