glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Where is the hickey?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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