therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
