I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
