how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
