I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize