Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
