she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
