News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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