Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
there's paper in my vomit.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
